As I’ve taken the time to connect deeper with myself, I encountered a huge block that’s been preventing me from doing something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time: Activate my creativity to release emotions. Every time I have the desire to make art, [which for me is just symbol of a way to release emotion] I hear the message from myself “I can’t.”
Today I had a breakthrough. I asked myself “Why do you want to make art?”
I meditated on this question as I was going through the bins of art supplies I’ve kept for so many years, even through all of this resistance [to make art] that I was feeling. I picked up a bag of random craft supplies, this particular bag carried some emotion. Recently, I finished a massive project of purging and reorganizing every area of my house. As I fought with myself over my reasoning for keeping or not keeping each item I owned, some had more emotional baggage than others. This particular bag was a random bag of some chosen scraps of craft supplies, which I was insistent in holding onto. It was as if the bag had resembled my free, wild, messy, weird, creative self that I so desperately wanted to embody again. As I held that bag in this moment…
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